siddha deha - Beauty of Real Love

Recorded India 2017

Vilapa Kusumanjali 82

Rādhe with a face like a fully blooming lotus flower! When You go out to meet Kṛṣṇa at night Your swiftly moving feet become afflicted with fatigue. O Devi! When will You, although You are shyness personified, call me by name to massage those lotus feet? Then I know that You have accepted me as Your own!

Explanations:

One rasika service after the other is perceived. How sweet, how confidential, how variegated are all these services! How can they (the kiṅkarīs), who are the embodiments of devotional service, remain alive if these services don’t come to them? rādhā-kiṅkarī-bhāva is such a greatly elevated stage! It cannot be had without being totally absorbed, merged in the service.

“Unfortunately, a person like me has no desire for devotional service. I do bhajan for my own welfare, and I don’t understand the secrets of devotional service!”

First the desire for devotional service should awaken. narottama dāsa māge sevā abhilāṣa. The Lord also first likes to see this desire awakening within the hearts of His devotees before He blesses them by giving them service. This is the Lord’s special mercy. Śrīla Jīva Gosvāmī has written:

pūrṇe’pi svasmin nija sevādy abhilāṣaṁ sampādya sevakādiṣu sevādi saubhāgya sampādikā bhagavataś cittārdratāmayī tad upakārecchā (Prīti Sandarbhaḥ 84 Anu).

In the previous verse Śrī Raghunātha relished Svāminī’s ever-so-sweet conversation with Śyāmasundara and was blessed with the sweet service of fanning Them. In this verse Śrīmatī calls Tulasī, who is dedicated to fanning her mistress, by name to give her another extraordinary service. Now Śrīla Raghunātha Dāsa Gosvāmī has completed his prayers for services at noontime and he proceeds to pray for this service, which is required at nightfall. Eagerly and swiftly Svāminī goes out to meet Kṛṣṇa at the trysting place, maddened by feelings of love. Her face is covered with sweatdrops, so Tulasī calls Her Āyātodyat Kamala Vadane, the girl whose face resembles a fully blooming lotus flower.

But because of walking so hurriedly Svāminī gets pain in Her tender lotus feet. Nothing can stop the very powerful course of Śrī Rādhikā’s lovejourney! She considers all the ornaments She wears to be a heavy burden only. The great poet Vidyāpati sings:

nava anurāgiṇi rādhā, kachu nāhi mānaye bādhā,  ekali koyoli payāna, pantha vipatha nāhi māna  tejala maṇimaya hāra, uca kuca mānaye bhāra  kara saye kaṅkaṇa mudari, panthahi tejali sagari maṇimaya mañjīra pāy, dūrahi teji coli yāy,  yāminī ghana āndhiyāra, manamatha hiye ujiyāra  vighini vithārala bāta, premaka āyudhe kāta,  vidyāpati mati jāno, aiche nā heriye ān  

“Rādhā, the nava anurāgiṇī (a girl who has just fallen in love, or who feels as if she has just fallen in love) does not consider any possible obstacles:

She goes out alone, not bothering about the different dangers She may encounter on the path. She takes off Her jewel necklace and considers Her own raised breasts to be a heavy burden, She takes the bangles from Her wrists and gives up everything else on the way. She flings away Her jewelled anklebells and walks on. Although the night’s thick darkness envelopes Vṛndāvana Her heart is illuminated by Cupid’s flame (helping Her to find the way).

The obstacles stretch themselves out on the road, but they are cut apart by the weapon of love. Vidyāpati thinks:

“I have never seen such a scene anywhere before!”

This abhisāra is very passionate, very forceful and nothing can stop its course! It’s inconceivable that She who is softer than a flower can move so swiftly. The cause of all this power is Her strong attraction to Kṛṣṇa’s form. Śrī Rādhikā thinks:

sakhi! śyāma rūpa jāgaye marame, kibā niśi kibā diśi śayane svapane “Sakhi!

The form of Śyāma appears in My heart day and night, in My dream and in My sleep!” The sakhīs and mañjarīs become afraid when they see the force of Prema Pāgalinī’s (Rādhikā, who is mad with love for Kṛṣṇa) lovejourney and they say:

sakhi muñca sambhramam abhisāre. cāraya caraṇāmburuham dhīraṁ sukumāre (Rūpa Gosvāmī’s Gītāvali)!

“Sakhi! Give up Your zeal in meeting Kṛṣṇa! Move Your delicate lotus feet slowly!” Now Svāminī’s lotus feet and indeed Her whole body begin to hurt because of the fast course of Her lovejourney (abhisāra).

“O Devi! You will call me by name to engage me in massaging those painful lotus feet, although You are hrī puñja mūrtiḥ: the very form of abundant bashfulness. One of Śrī Rādhikā’s 108 names is hrī paṭṭa vastra guptāṅgī : She whose body is concealed by a silken garment of bashfulness.

nija lajjā śyāma paṭṭa sāḍī paridhāna (C.C.)

“She wears a blue silken sārī of bashfulness.”

“You will not call anyone by name to help You with anything, but now You are calling me, because You are overwhelmed by feelings of great love for me! I am Yours only and in this way You have accepted me!” In this way the maidservant also (reciprocates and) surrenders herself to Svāminī’s lotus feet.

Śrīpāda Prabodhānanda Sarasvatī writes in Vṛndāvana Mahimāmṛta (Eighth Śatakam):

kṣaṇaṁ caraṇa vicchedyāc chrīśvaryāḥ prāṇa-hāriṇīm padāravinda samlagnatayaivāharniśaṁ sthitām ………….. rādhā padābja sevānya spṛhā kāla-trayojjhitām rādhā prīti sukhāmbhodhāv apāre buḍitām sadā rādhā padāmbujād anyat svapnānte’pi na jānatīm rādhā sambandha samdhāvat prema sindhaugha-mālinīm  

“The maidservant feels like dying when she is separated from her Śrīśvarī’s lotus feet for even a moment. She’s staying by Her lotus feet day and night. In past, present or future she does not covet anything else but Rādhā’s lotus feet and she’s always immersed in a boundless ocean of blissful love for Her.Even in dreams she doesn’t know anything else but Śrī Rādhā’s lotus feet and she’s like a river that swiftly runs towards the ocean of Śrī Rādhā!”

As much as Svāminī has trusts Her maidservants that much She loves them. She understands: “I can make Her serve just as I want it!” She cannot count on everyone like that. During the Rāsa-dance She sees that Her lover gets pain in His feet, so She tells Her loving kiṅkarīs:

“Massage His feet!” “Similarly You now also order me: “Tulasī, massage My feet! I came running too quickly and I hurt My feet in this way!”

How much affection Svāminī shows for Her maidservant! “O Svāmini! Will I never even get a single drop of experience of Your mercy, either in dreams, visions or smaraṇa?”

When the devotee’s heart breaks his weeping will burst out of it. His heart weeps for want of experience of this ocean of mercy. For obtaining this fortune one must exclusively surrender to Her lotus feet. Śrī Dāsa Gosvāmī gives the example.

bhajāmi rādhām aravinda-netrāṁ smarāmi rādhāṁ madhura smitāsyām vadāmi rādhāṁ karuṇā bharārdrāṁ tato mamānyāsti gatir na kāpi   (Viśākhānandada Stotram)

“I worship Rādhā, who has lotus-eyes. I remember Rādhā, whose face sweetly smiles. I speak of Rādhā, who melts of compassion. Thus I have no other shelter than Her.”

Svāminī personally lifts Her feet, that are the all-in-all for Tulasī’s heart, on Tulasī’s chest, because She wants to mitigate their fatigue. These feet have become unfit for playing and dancing with Kṛṣṇa. Who can measure Tulasī’s bliss? She finally gets these long-desired lotus feet on her chest. Tulasī sits on a pedestal, takes Svāminī’s two feet on her chest and starts to serve them.

No one else but a kiṅkarī can understand how dear these feet are to Tulasī! Tulasī showers these lotuslike feet with oblations of her tears of love and kisses them in an unseen way, thinking:

“When I have Svāminī I have everything!”

As a result of Tulasī’s massage Svāminī’s feet have now been cured of their fatigue. An amazing beauty blossoms on Svāminī’s face. The desire to play with Kṛṣṇa was in Svāminī’s heart, but the fitness to do it was not in Her feet. Now Her feet have become fit again. In the kuñja She holds Her feet on Śyāma’s chest as She leans against Him on the bed, and thus They become eager to make love. Tulasī understands that it is more discrete to go out of the kuñja now. She sits outside, but keeps her ears and her mind fixed on what happens inside. Suddenly she hears an anklebell sweetly jingling: ‘ṭu’. ‘I think I am being called with this sound!’

The maidservant mingles with the absorption of the Yugala and enters the kuñja where she sees that Svāminī’s hair got entangled with Kṛṣṇa’s earrings. She cleverly unravels the knots and quietly leaves the kuñja again, leaving the Yugala Kiśora, who saw her as the personification of Their ecstatic pastimes, to Their loveplays again. Suddenly the vision disappears and with anxious heart Śrī Raghunātha prays:

he devi he śrī rādhe! he lajjā puñja mūrte,  he udyat kamala nayane! gamane naṭana līlā, kori tumi cāru śīlā, abhisāre yāibe yokhone. colite colite pathe, patha śrānta hoiyā tāte,  kuñja-rāja nikuñje āsiyā. lajjā-śīlā lajjā chāḍi, ājñā dibe hema gaurī,  nija jana āmāke bhāviyā.  śrī rati mañjarī śuno, śīghro kori āgamana,  mora pada koro samvāhana.  sei śubha dina kobe, śrānta klānta pada-yuge,  ānandete koribo sevana.   (Śrī Haripada Śila)

“O golden goddess Śrī Rādhe! You are bashfulness personified! O Blooming lotus-eyed girl! Your steps, Your dancing pastimes and Your behaviour are so sweet and gentle! When You go out to meet the king of the kuñja, who has already arrived on the trysting place, You become tired of walking down the roads, so You give up Your bashfulness and order me, considering me to be Yours: “Listen, O Rati Mañjari! Quickly come here and massage My feet!” When will that blessed day come that I can blissfully serve Your exhausted lotus feet?”